Tag Archives: introversion

Apr 16 2020
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Poetry

COVID-19

It’s late; it’s closer to sunrise than sunset. The birds will be chirping before the alarm, and the guinea pigs will be nibbling on the hay beneath the bed.

It’s weird going outside during any part of the day now. I have yet to explore the world before dawn since there is no reason to ride my bicycle to work anymore, though, I somehow suspect the world is almost as quiet during the early morning as it is right now — just a few more cars, maybe.

There is a part of me that likes the world better now — not so active, entropic, frenetic — not so anything anymore, as if the population were cut in half only in that they are stationary for a while for as long as their reserves will nourish them.

I sat outside the other day and looked at the buildings with their units all honeycombed together and their satellite dishes stuck to the sky — their azimuth and altitude set like a stuck sunflower gazing at the same spot while the sun courses overhead and down, and down as if there is some opposite to the heliotropic nod of the flowers — an unnaturalness in being set at one station… an unnaturalness, for there is not much else to call it.

Yet here we are with a soft quarantine. And things feel how they are supposed to feel, in some regard, with our faces like those satellites not moving so wild anymore.

But i’ve always been one to find comfort with my eyes drawn to a certain spot. And I am now more in my element than not.

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Dec 17 2014
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Diary

The Quiet Away From People

I deleted my facebook account some time ago. Consequently, I went to other social media sites to stay “connected” through information. The funny thing is that those other social media sites are starting to seem just as inane when you see personas instead of people. You can’t connect with a persona in any other way than something schizophrenic, which is the most insincere form of connection. Knowing the self is hard enough when you are alone. Then, when you enter into a dynamic with other poeple, your self is changed, and that self is further changed when someone turns the screw of their personality and makes it a persona. Eventually, the lies told are believed by the liar, and then by everyone else.

I like being alone. I think being alone cuts down on the extraneous mental noise from other people. If everyone is, in a sense, a brand, then I have turned down the advertisements. I sometimes think the advertisements that inundate our lives are just as toxic as the air on a smoggy day; and, like the air, the smog obfuscates my ability to see clearly. I suppose the question arises how the information in the world influences us and how it is used to hide stuff from us while exposing us to something “preferred.” Furthermore, isn’t an advertisement just repeated information aimed at drilling itself into your psyche to get us to act in a certain way? I surmise people aren’t that different from a billboard you pass on the street in how they affect you in the long run. We are nuggets of information after all.

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